What Turns a Woman Off When You Start Dating?
Let’s face it, even the most confident of us have had bad dates, none of us are perfect and all of us are fallible.
Dates usually go wrong when we break some of the unwritten rules which most of us don’t even know exist, so usually we have no clue why things have gone wrong and just assume it was the other party’s fault.
Just remember you are being judged from the second you walk in the room and anything from your body language to the way you smell is important, so it is always good to be aware of some of these dating ‘rules’ and how to avoid the turn offs.
Based on the above, if you are interested in improving your dating game, here are a few things you should know.
Talking About Your Ex
Your ex really might be the one that got away and she may have absolutely broken your heart, but your new date does not want to hear that.
If she asks about your previous relationship history by all means tell her, but long wistful looks and talking about how beautiful your ex was and all the amazing things you did together, is a real no no!
Your date will be wondering whether there’s really any point in being on a date with you if you are still pining after your ex, as it really won’t go anywhere. So, it is best to avoid going into detail with previous relationships at all costs.
Only Talking About Yourself
It could be said that communication is the foundation of any relationship, however communication is a two-way street, so both people need to be conversing.
If you are only talking about yourself and your experiences, this will make the date very one sided and pretty boring. There’s nothing wrong with talking about your hobbies and the things you like to do in your spare time, but it's crucial to know when to draw the line.
It’s also very important to ask questions about your date. Actively listen to what she is saying as this will help you to discover any common interests, hopes and dreams, which will eventually make the conversation flow a lot easier. It will also make the date way more enjoyable, so please, try not to go on about yourself for too long.
Even if you only usually have a weekly shower or change your undies every few days, make an effort to scrub up on your first date.
Smell is very important when you meet someone for the first time, and we're not just talking about body odour. Imagine leaning in for a kiss with someone who has bad breath! You’ll probably lean back quicker than Terror Squad and Fat Joe!
Even though choosing a decent body spray or aftershave is proven to work well with the ladies, make sure to not douse yourself in it, especially in an attempt to cover your body odour!
Looking at other women
Checking out others when on a date with someone will have the same negative effect, regardless if you’re a man or a woman.
Empathy would be the biggest key here.
Imagine getting suited and booted to go on a date, only to get there to see that the lady you're out with is flirting and chatting up other men that she finds attractive. I’m sure you wouldn’t wait until the end of the night to count how many guys' numbers she actually took!
On the flip side to that, a woman will not take kindly to the fact that you may be looking at other women around you, or browsing through dating profiles on your phone.
With this in mind, make sure to pay attention to the person you're dating. This will only make them feel more comfortable and increase your chances of leaving a good impression and even a good-night kiss if you're lucky!
Being Rude / Bad Manners
Being rude is a real turn off, especially when you're trying to make a good first impression. This can be anything from not being nice to waiting staff whilst out for dinner, to shutting a door in someone’s face instead of holding it open. All your date will start to see is red flags.
This will also affect your chances of being taken seriously for a long term relationship. I mean, who would feel comfortable with taking a rude person to meet their parents and friends?
All in all, being polite, saying thank you, and trying to be a nice person will give you some brownie points with your date. We all know that manners cost nothing, so don't hold back there!
We just want to say that awkward silences are inevitable and absolutely normal, especially when you're on a first date. This could be due to nerves, not knowing much about someone or not knowing which way to direct the conversation.
As each person is different, there's no perfect formula, but what we can advise is to keep things in shallow waters. Here’s some tips to help:
- Keep the topics light and positive (For example, talk about music or movies)
- As mentioned above, make sure to ask questions (Show genuine interest)
- Use the silence to your advantage (use the silence to think of another topic)
- Do not bring your phone to the table (This will only make the silence louder)
Adding on to the last point, sometimes your phone can be a game changer. For instance, if you have a cute cat, you can show your date funny pictures or videos of them. Also, depending on where your first date is, you can use your phone to share Ed Sheeran’s new track, to get some romance in and kill that awkward silence.
The art of dating successfully is not rocket science, but what is crucial is being aware of what is acceptable and what isn’t whilst on a date. The points we mentioned will not only make your dating life a lot simpler, but of course much more enjoyable.
Even if you’re not looking for a serious relationship, you should still put in the effort and time to get the most out of each date!
By following the points we mentioned above, you can almost guarantee that your date won’t feel like climbing out the toilet window to get away from an awkward situation.
And remember... don't forget that all important shower!!