They say the best remedy for a broken heart is putting yourself out there, but when is the right time to start dating again after a breakup? The short answer is that there is no “right time”. However, don’t take that to mean that you should jump right back into the game without considerations.

This article will go over all the possible concerns you might have about getting back into the dating game, including how to move on from your previous partner. So, if you want to find out when is the right time to start dating again after a breakup, read on to find out.

Moving On

Blonde woman with her hands folded in front of her looking angry while a man walks away in the background.

Before you can start thinking about whether you should or shouldn’t put yourself out there, you must first go through the mandatory grieving process. Going through a breakup requires time and closure, and the former can take anywhere from a couple of months to a year based on how long-term your relationship was.

During this period in your life, you need to sever any loose ends and potentially go no-contact with your ex if you find it hard to move on with them still in your life. Make sure to take your time slowly clearing out any pictures you have together and even personal items if you were living together.

Time For Some Self-Reflection

Brunette woman sitting down and meditating while light comes in from the window in front of her.

Take the break up as an opportunity for personal growth, and reflect on what you want moving forward. This can include the establishment of healthier boundaries and relationship expectations. As far as self-reflection is concerned, here’s a few questions you can ask yourself which you might find enlightening:

  1. Were there any positive or negative patterns you noticed in the relationship?
  2. Have you grown or changed because of this relationship?
  3. Do you have any regrets about how you handled things?
  4. What was your role in the challenges along the way and the eventual breakup?
  5. What do you need to do to forgive and forget both yourself and your ex-partner?
  6. Have you fully accepted that the relationship has ended?
  7. What qualities are you looking for in a future partner?
  8. What did you learn about yourself through this relationship?

While these questions might seem quite surface-level, the sooner you have your answers to them, the easier you will be able to move forward.

Enjoy The Single Life

Multiple people laughing and smiling while bringing their glasses together to make a toast.

It’s recommended to spend some time on your own after your breakup. This will not only allow you to focus on the people that are still in your life, but also yourself. Perhaps one of the most important but hardest parts of breaking up with a long-term partner is being independent afterwards. When you’ve spent so much time being together with someone, it’s almost impossible to detach yourself from them straight away.

So, focus on the positives, do things you normally wouldn’t do because of your partner. These can range from walking around naked in the house, to blasting the music while you do chores. It can really be anything that you might have prevented yourself from doing out of consideration for your partner.

You can also turn your attention to your family and friends, catching up with some quality time. Maybe go clubbing if you haven’t done so in a while, or arrange a trip with your friends. Just because you are single, it doesn’t mean you need to be alone.

Signs You Are Still Not Ready

Blonde woman sitting on the floor, leaning on the foot of the bed, holding her head and looking sad.

After all that, you might think that you are ready to go for it and start your new love story, but there’s a few things you might want to consider. If you find yourself still thinking about your ex from time to time, or even comparing people to them, you’re likely not ready to take that step yet.

You might still have some unresolved resentment towards them, or you might find it hard to trust again, and these issues need to be addressed. So, don’t feel pressured to date until you fully understand what it is that you want.

Signs You Are Ready

Brunette man and woman holding a stick of cotton candy between them and biting down on it from each side.

On the other hand, you might be ready to put yourself out there again and you just have not realised it yet. The biggest sign you’re over your ex is being content with being single. People who have accepted the past and found stability in their own independence are often in a good place to get back in the game.

If you want to meet new people not because you need a distraction but because you are ready to open up to someone new. If you’ve established new boundaries for yourself and you are ready to invest both your time and effort into it. All of the above are great tell-tale signs that you are ready to welcome a new romantic partner in your life.

Getting Back Into The Dating Game

Blonde woman and brunette man standing next to each other and smiling while the man touches her hair.

By the time you decide that you need to start dating again, you’ll probably realise that the game is not as it used to be. Traditional ways of meeting people are of course still viable, but online dating has made it easier than ever to find someone compatible. Whichever way you choose to start your search, here’s a few things we recommend you keep in mind:

Take It Slow

The dating scene can be overwhelming, and having been single for a while your excitement might get the best of you. As such, we recommend you take each new meeting one step at a time, especially if you met them through digital means. Take your time getting to know each new person and avoid rushing into a relationship with the first person you click.

Stay Safe

No matter how you go about meeting new people, your safety comes first. The old-school rulebook about how to stay safe still applies today. Make sure that you are meeting in a public place where there are a lot of people. Don’t have them pick you up, and don’t arrange to meet anywhere close to your home, place of work, or frequent hangout spots.

It is also good to let someone know where you will be and what you will be doing. Even ask them to maybe give you a call to give you an out, should you need to take it. If you have a bad feeling about someone, it’s always wise to make an excuse and remove yourself from the situation.

Enjoy Every Step Of The Way

Once you’ve found someone you are interested in, take your time enjoying every moment. Especially if your previous relationship was a long-term one, it’s easy to focus on the end-goal of serious relationships (e.g. marriage). So, remember to have fun, flirt to your heart’s content, arrange as many dates as you’d like, and allow yourself to open up to someone new. Whatever comes after that, well, that’s a bonus.

All In All

Taking the decision to date again, and actually being ready to do so are two different things, and unfortunately, the timeline differs from person to person. So, before you start downloading all the latest dating apps, and asking friends to introduce you around, take a moment for yourself to reflect on what your previous relationship helped you learn.

The goal is always a healthier relationship and that cannot be accomplished by rushing into something new when you are still hurting. Make sure that any unresolved anger has been taken care of and that you give yourself time to be single for a while. Chances are you will discover a new version of yourself you didn’t know you had!